Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Thoughts....June 2, 2009

Another evening up in the hills. Doing a bit of exercise in anticipation of some bigger stuff come July. Got my eye on Black or Corner Peak in the G.V. The small trips in the mornings (before work) and evenings are enjoyable.

Afterwards, I sit on top looking out over the valley. I can see the highway a few miles away, and can hear the outfits as they travel up and down the road. Where the hell is everyone going? So many it seems to me. Where did everyone come from? I know it is a relative thing. What seems like busy roads to me are actually deserted compared to other parts of the country. Hell, I am even part of the endless coming and goings of people traveling here and there, not to mention that I have lived in the big city and know how crowded things can seem. Depressing thoughts of over run spaces for sure.

I like my treks with little or no human interference. That fact drives me to find lonely places. I go early, or late, just to avoid other persons. Do I despise other humans? Some days it sure seems like it. All the shit that happens on a daily basis, the wars, the crime, the rudeness, the apathy…and things even worse………sigh…….

I look down to see a cigarette butt. Back down the path, a discarded plastic water bottle. I pick them up of course, but just the thought of someone doing this littering is another reminder that we, as humans suck.

And some days I feel that I also suck. I need to use less. I need to want less. Easy to say. Hard to do.

How do I fit, in the big scheme of things? Does it matter? Any of it? Some days I think it doesn’t. Seems hopeless. Too many problems in the world. I can’t change humanity, though I wish I could. No, all I can do is change myself. I can make an effort to be better. Smile more. Be more patient. Be more forgiving. I could be kinder to strangers, something I certainly could be better at. Drive less. Consume less. Yes, unquestionably room for improvement here….

These are just some of my thoughts as I sit up high, looking out over the world.


1 comment:

  1. You are not alone in those thoughts, Biglost.